I made cinnamon rolls for the gal that I visit teach on Sunday. I got in the car and the smell was intoxicating. I took a big whiff and enjoyed the aroma. I could imagine what it would taste like. I then imagined what my gut would feel like after I snarfed one down. It most likely tasted awesome. My pants would suddenly get tighter, my head would start to spin and I would have a headache. Regardless of that, then I pictured myself having another one because the one minute of pleasure would be worth it, I would think. Pants would get tighter, and I would help myself to one more. Then feeling very sluggish, tired and mentally cloudy, I would probably have one more. This is the cycle for me. At the end of the whole scene in my head, I went back to paying attention to how I felt NOT eating the cinnamon roll and I felt good. My jeans are loose and I feel good. I decided it is better to feel good and slender then the alternative I just dreamed up. The smell was enough and it was heaven.
I came across a talk on KBYU that was from a Women's Conference a few years ago by Linda Flanagan. She says,
"As our weaknesses are made known unto us, they are like rocks. Ready to be polished, and as we turn them over to God, He will help us change them into Ruby's and Diamonds. Then we will see our weaknesses as treasures and thank Him."
I am not sure how this is possible, but I have faith and a desire to change. I am wondering if a year is long enough.
Yesterday marks two weeks. Only 50 to go. The second week has been hard but not as hard as the first week. I have a couple of projects I am working on that are keeping me rather busy. And, they are hard enough that it scares me pretty good. Enough so that my mind has been much more worried about other things than what I can or mostly can't eat. So my advice here is to stay very busy. It's been great that I can work on these projects with a clear head, and my energy level has been raised. That brings me a lot of satisfaction with what I am doing.