Tuesday, December 22, 2009

My long black Darth Vador dress has left the building.

I gave my long black church dress away last week. This is the dress I wore when I was pregnant, or when I had just gained enough weight that nothing else fit. Before I started this no sugar quest, I was wearing it to every church function that I was to go. I hated that dress, but as a form of my own punishment, I was not to buy another dress, or wear another dress until my size dropped. So, the result of that was wearing that dress for probably a couple of months straight. A kind lady asked me if I was in mourning because she only saw me in black. I laughed and explained to her that I was punishing myself. I told her not to worry because I was on a better path and she could expect to see me wearing colors very soon. She has complimented me twice since she has seen me in different colors. I kissed that dress goodbye and have no regrets!

This week it has been interesting to see the layers unfold as I discover other bad habits that I have. I use to blame everything on my bad eating habits (sugar all the time). Now that I have good eating habits, I am seeing other areas I need to improve. The most blatant one is that I am not getting enough sleep. I find myself staying up way too late watching t.v. even when I still have to get up very early to help my kids get to school. There are no pick-me-uppers in the afternoon anymore (no soft drinks, or sugar jolts to keep me going). It is interesting to see myself in this very honest way. It's all about choices. I can go to bed earlier, or take a nap, or just be tired. But one thing I will not do is suffocate that feeling by drinking or eating something. HHmmmm.

Recount of my week:
This week my weight stayed the exact same. So after 8 weeks, that's a loss of 11.8 lbs.
This week I said no to a LOT of things: Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, gourmet hot chocolate, dessert at the Claim Jumper, dessert at The Grange, cupcakes and cookies at a baby shower, a full table full of treats for our neighborhood nativity, eggnog with ice cream and 7up in it, hot apple cider with melted red hots, and a big spread of cookies at our Stake Christmas Devotional.
This week I said yes to: sugar free hot chocolate (when I first tasted this I spit it out in the sink thinking I was drinking a sugar-full cup. I had to check and had my kids taste it to verify it really was sugar free. They could definitely tell, but it wasn't obvious to me), tenderloin steak wrapped in bacon with mashed potatoes and carrots, and freshly squeezed orange juice which continues to be my all time favorite. I would also like to add that an apple a day really may keep the doctor away. It does wonders for me.

This week is Christmas and I am so excited for all of the fun activities. I am not feeling deprived and it doesn't feel hard to say no. I feel committed and am not craving things. I do indulge in the aroma of baked cookies etc but in the same whiff I pat myself on the stomach. That's my signal to myself that yes, the smell is enough! This week I dropped a size and I am now wearing a size 12 again. After Christmas, everything over size 12 will be gone. That is a gift I am giving myself. It feels good. I have felt very blessed and feel the warmth that the Christmas spirit brings.

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